Booking the wedding!

I can't believe I'm typing this but we have actually BOOKED OUR WEDDING! Sorry, I just can't believe it, we're both so excited and keep reminding each other that each event that happens this year will be our last before we are husband and wife. Last Christmas, last New Year, agh! I couldn't be more excited, well I could, If i won the money to pay for it all right now, then I'd be super excited, but I'll stick at just being excited that we are really doing it and I have to pick up a few Sunday shifts here and there because no one has won the lottery yet ;)
We looked around a venue on Monday that I had been to for afternoon tea last year and fallen in love with but that Sam had never stepped foot in. I secretly knew this was the place for us and just hoped that Sam felt the same way, he did! We went for a very classy post 'could this be the place?!' lunch (see below) and looked over our (my! very Monica) planning notebook and got super excited.

We actually saw another place after that but cancelled the 3 more we had booked in because we just knew! Now we get to do the exciting stuff since so much is already taken care of in the wedding package we've chosen, it really feels like so much of the work has been done for us without us losing any of the personality and mood that we're going for, yay!
Now I'm designing Save the Dates and pinning endless amounts of bridesmaids dresses and decor ideas (wedding dresses being pinned to a secret board because, well, it's a secret!) and just wishing I could make this wedding thing my full time job.
We have a meeting with a wedding photographer who's work we've both fallen in love with around easter and then it'll feel like a lot of the big things are taken care of and we've just got the lovely bits left to do, that and the final legal bit which can't be done until its within a year of the wedding but I'm ignoring that for now! I can't believe that next year we will officially be married!

Another thing that made everything feel so amazing was finally being able to give my 2 bridesmaids their cards illustrated wonderfully by Emily who blogs over at Jammy&Jelly. She did my illustrated new years resolutions back in January :) I love the cards so much and the girls loved them too.

I'm not sure what Emily thought of my request when I emailed her to start with, I'm sure it sounded like quite an odd question to be asking but I wanted something humorous and personalised which I think is exactly what these are, I love them!

I'm not sure if I'm going to include much wedding content on here because I wasn't sure if I had anything much to offer about planning a wedding but since I suppose at the moment it's all a big part of my life it'll be mentioned here and there, I hope thats okay! Sorry I've been a bit AWOL recently but along with all this happening I've also started back at uni this week and been ill with what I think was 2 very serious illnesses and Sam believes was a stomach virus. We have agreed to disagree on that one, I don't do being ill very well!

{FROM THE ARCHIVES} My Hair History.

This post was previously posted on my old blog in 2013, I had a quick read through it and thought it would be fun to update it. I hope you don't think I'm cheating by posting an old blog post, but I have updated it!
Now over to 2013 Jacquina...

I love reading these posts, I think your hair can often show things about you at different stages in your life (does that sound really shallow? Never mind) and mine has certainly changed a lot! So let's have a look back...

 

Aww look at that, 3 years old, naturally blonde and more posing than you can shake a stick at, could this photo be any more 90s? (I'm wearing clip on Pocahontas earrings)

Oh wait, it can get more posey, I'm about 5 here and I'd been allowed to grow my hair long!  Those are Belle's shoes by the way, hold in your jealousy.

Fast forward to age 14 and I've got a full fringe again and dyed my hair dark. Also, this pose? It was totes in fashion, as was the school tie.

Back to my natural hair colour, quite long and probably the only time I haven't had some kind of fringe. (This is my 17th birthday.) It actually grew quite a bit longer than this before the next photo happened but I seem to have worn it up more often than not and can't find any good pictures.

The red hair picture shown here was my 19th birthday, I loved my hair like this but red is such a hard colour to maintain, and I wish I'd never cut it. I then decided blonde should be my thang for summer. For a girl who thought red hair was hard to maintain blonde was not a good choice. I lasted as a blonde for about 6 months.

The first accidentally supremely mardy picture was taken early summer last year (thats summer 2012) when I had just grown my hair out to a good length again, and the second was around September '12 where I stupidly decided a bob would be a good idea again! Now I'm back to the inbetween stages of growing my hair out again and we're up to date with my hair history!

That's what you think 2013 Jacquina, let us continue...

Oh this picture holds many memz, this was the first time that Sam met my family and probably the first picture of us as a couple, we have both changed so much in the 2.5+ years of being together it makes me laugh, Sam especially looks his age these days (in a good way! the beard he has now has mad that baby face a thing of the past)!

Fast forward a bit and I had started to go to a hairdresser to have my hair coloured instead of DIYing it, as you can see from the previous picture, box dye on top of box dye made it go a bit patchy and I ended up having hair of all different colours, getting it fixed meant either bleach or dark and by this point my hair was really quite long and I was terrified of damaging it so dark it was. All of a sudden my hair was long enough to be commented on as something unusual, I hadn't even noticed how long it was but before I got it cut (spoiler alert!) it was probably just past waist length. 

I had to have a good long chat with my hairdresser to convince her to cut 8" off my hair to this length but I was so happy with it. I think shorter and darker again is the way for me to go from here, I am such a fickle thing when it comes to my hair, always looking for the next thing I want to try! 

Now we're up to date on the left is my hair when I first went for the full chop, darkened it up a bit and got some balyage in there too and on the right is it a bit grown out and a bit faded so the contrast is a bit less harsh. I know I wrote back in 2013 that another bob would be a mistake but I love my shorter hair and i think its because it's the 'lob'. I think the next step for me might be to tone down the balyage a little bit, mostly because I love it when I style my hair but for everyday when my hair is just put up in a ponytail it can look a bit odd! I can't believe I've lasted this long without getting a fringe cut back in too, its a minor miracle. 

Hope you enjoyed this post and it hasn't been too self indulgent! I think this is a fun way of giving a sneak peek of your history and if you've done a hair history post then link it below because I love 'em. Thanks for reading.

I also hope you don't mind me pulling a post from the archives every now and then, they're a good glimpse back for me.

 

We're Engaged!

I'm sure if you follow me on any of my social media you'll know this already but on the 28th of January, Sam asked me to be his wife, and I said yes!

In a style so completely us that I don't think it could have been any more perfect, Sam asked me in our favourite hotel, that we were staying in as a birthday present for me (or so I thought!).

The day of the proposal on our blustery beach walk. 

I had just got out of the bath, make up less, damp hair and probably looking a bit pink. I found the ring hidden behind a very grown up love note (Jacq loves Sam 4eva and eva!) that I had written Sam earlier to thank him, in a silly way, for the hotel room. Upon finding the ring I completely froze and Sam, being the oh so cool person that he is said 'So, shall we get married then?' I'm not ashamed to say I cried before holding out a shaking hand for him to put the ring on. We had champagne on ice ready to pop (me not Sam, he's scared of it!) to toast our future.

The first sunrise we saw as an engaged couple. All firsts at the moment are feeling so special, and both Sam and I keep catching ourselves looking at that ring on my finger and thinking about everything it means. We couldn't be happier.

24 (very random) thoughts on my 24th Birthday.

It's my birthday! Today I turn 24 and so I'm writing about 24 things I've learned in my 24 years, I know, what a new and exciting concept! I hope you enjoy anyway, I have a feeling this will lose all structure and be really quite rambly.

1: I've learned, and I'm still learning, that I can't plan my life as much as I want to. This time last year I was completely ready for my boyfriend to move into my flat with me after he finished uni. As it turned out we ended up moving together 200 miles across the country, and becoming so much stronger because of it.

2: If I looked back to my 16 year old self fresh from my first ever break up and completely insecure I don't think I could have believed then that i would ever feel completely comfortable in myself. I still don't, and who knows if I ever will, but I'm far more comfortable (and I might even say confident!) than I'd ever thought could be possible.

3: You're not automatically good with money when you start earning enough to keep yourself comfortably. I always swore I would save and never have credit cards etc etc. Sometimes though life happens and as mentioned above, I needed the help of a credit card when I was earning for 2 people and moving across the country. It doesn't make me a bad person.

4: Exercise just has to happen, it does, I never liked it but I'm glad I've started now while my joints are still reasonably good and I can do most of the exercises I set out to do.

5: The secret to sticking to a skincare routine and in particular ensuring I always remove my make up was buying expensive white sheets. Who knew?

6: You shouldn't feel guilty about changing jobs when it's not for you. Since moving in July I have had 2 jobs, the first one, although not a bad job, wasn't for me and I couldn't stick it out for more than the 4 months I was there. I didn't enjoy it, I almost didn't apply for my current job because I was so worried about how people would react to me "not giving it a chance."

7: I really need to apologise less. Someone once said to me "every time you apologise when it's not necessary you are saying sorry for existing."

8: Sometimes you just need to eat takeaway pizza, like when you're heading off on the 2 hour journey to see your boyfriend and your bonnet flies up and smashes your windscreen. You need to let the police take your car away, get breathalysed, get a lift home and cry into Dominos until your roommate brings you flowers.

9: Nobody likes you when you're 23 is not true. Blink 182 were wrong! I felt so valued professionally and personally this year, it was really amazing.

10: Cooking a healthy nutritious meal really isn't that hard and sneaking veg into a pasta sauce is probably the best way to trick yourself.

11: My mum had a 5 year old (me!) when she was 24, I don't know how the fuck she did it. That's when a child is like a real life person who can think and act for themselves. My mum was such a grown up to me then, how was she 24?

12: I really don't enjoy drinking. I used to, don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of wild nights. However now I'm far happier without that feeling of no control and without the hangover the next day. Very rarely I will have a drink or 2 if I enjoy the taste of what I'm drinking but gone are the days of holding my nose to do shots or asking 'what will get me drunkest for the least amount of money??'.

13: Mental health is just as important as physical health. I'm a nurse, we have to call in sick if we have something potentially contagious so as not to pass it on to vulnerable patients. I've always been very vigilant about this and not felt guilty for sick time, but this year I had to take time off for my mental health. I completely beat myself up for it, but that shouldn't be how it is. The stigma of mental health, I hope, is slowly shifting but we're not there yet.

14: So called self care can be self destructive. We've all seen those cutesy tumblr posts encouraging you to have some chocolate and go to bed but sometimes what you need to do is shower (because you haven't in 4 days) or exercise (because you can't remember the last time you walked further than to the kitchen) and thats okay to say too.

15: Rimmel Kate Moss lipsticks are the best quality for the money they cost (that I've found anyway!).

16: People I saw being complete idiots (in the sense of behaving like shits and being suspended) at school are now getting married and having babies (on purpose!) and it's still the weirdest thing.

17: I've stopped caring whether things I like are cool or not and just started embracing the fact that I like them. I can listen to The Weeknd, Alanis Morisette, Kanye and Ray LaMontagne all in the same playlist and I'm so happy about it. I'm over apologising for my choices.

18: I have SO much to learn about the world around me. It started when I started looking into intersectional feminism and realising that I really haven't been inclusive in my views, but I'm learning. I'm learning why things I previously didn't see a problem with can be problematic or offensive to people. I'm so glad to still be learning and I am completely happy to have my views challenged and to be told why things need to be different. Ive researched as much as I can but sometimes it's good to know that there are people out there who will, even unwittingly, make me check myself too.

19: Being friends with the adults of your life is when you really start to feel grown up. When you can have conversations with your mum or grandparents and really feel on an equal level its great.

20: I have been more homesick than I ever have before in my year of being 23. I had moved out at 22 but only 16 miles from my Mum and even closer to my grandparents. Now, living across the country I have experienced that ache, and it does not get easier or lessen with age. You're never too old for homesickness.

21: I really really have to try not to sweat the small stuff, but the point is in the trying. The conscious effort to let the small stuff slide and look at the bigger picture is one I think is helping me grow as a person each day.

22: It's so worth getting the finance in order to have a car that I'm not worried is going to break down on every long journey made!

23: It really is better for me not to sleep in. I'm not used to having a job where the hours are pretty stable but at the moment thats how it is for me and having a regular wake up time has been amazing. I've even tried to stick to it within half an hour or so on a weekend and it makes me feel so much fresher than laying in bed until gone 11am. I know, younger me wouldn't have believed it.

24: I have to try and make 24 my best year yet, just in my appreciation of the year not because I expect big things to happen, I've learned not to expect things because life has other plans anyway! I want to learn, appreciate and love more than I did at 23 and probably less than I will at 25.


Thanks for reading my ramble if you made it all the way to the end. I hope the word vomit wasn't too dire!

Let's Talk: Lipsticks. My 5 Favourites!

It's not often I get to wear lipstick, I mean, I can wear it to work but I never bother because even if I remembered to put it on in the morning it would never get reapplied during the day! Anyway, at the moment I'm in the middle of a week off from work and I am fully embracing wearing lipstick, along with embracing whole days where I don't wear make up because that is awesome too.
I decided to put together this blog post of my 5 favourite lipsticks. Because I'm lazy when it comes to reapplying I look for either unbelievably long lasting or lipsticks that fade well and evenly!

Here we go, are you ready for multiple pictures of my resting bitch face? In no particular order::

1:: Rimmel Kate Moss 05::

I love the Kate Moss lipsticks by Rimmel, for the cost of them I believe they're the best available. This is a sort of muted fuchsia colour which I believe (excuse my lack of knowledge!) has blue undertones. I never thought this sort of colour would suit me but its actually so easy to wear. It glides on beautifully and is completely opaque with just one layer. I wouldn't say this dries down to a matte but at some point as I'm wearing it it usually stops feeling like I'm wearing anything on my lips at all and yet it stays put for ages. When it does fade it fades really evenly and doesn't leave you with a 90s lipliner look.

2:: Mac Plumful - lustre:: 

Another easy wearing lipstick, this is a plum coloured lipstick but the sheerness of it means it's one that doesn't need a mirror to apply. Just sweep and go! This is my one and only Mac lipstick, I bought it when we went to London in October, I've got to say that Mac stores really intimidate me. I tried on maybe 4 or 5 while I was there but it took everything in my power to actually ask to do this. Does anyone else get like that in Mac shops? I don't know what my problem is! This one isn't so long lasting but because of how easy it is to reapply I don't mind so much.

3:: L'Oreal Color Riche - Julianne's Nude::

I promise these lipsticks all don't look completely the same in real life, at least that's what I tell myself when I pick out yet another in Boots when I went in for make up remover. This is probably the most subtle of my favourites, a light pink thats not so light it washes me out and so easy to wear on the lips. I must admit this took a back seat for a while because I forgot how nice it could look with basically any other make up look. This one is really moisturising, again this means it's not very long wearing but I don't tend to mind with the subtler colours because you can't tell so much that it's fading when you're lazy with reapplying.

4:: Bourjois Rouge Edition Velvet in Hot Pepper::

 Yay! One that looks different! This is the only liquid lipstick I own now, I can find them quite difficult to apply which puts me off. This one for me is easier, it takes a few coats but it dries so quickly that I find this the easiest way to apply it. Considering this dries down to matte it's a really comfortable colour to wear and so long lasting that it definitely ticks my laziness box. I've been thinking of picking up a few more of the shades but for now this is such a perfect red for me I think I'll let my wallet rest for a while!

5:: Rimmel Kate Moss 107::

There's a reason there are 2 Kate Moss Rimmel lipsticks in these 5 favourites, I think I own 5 or 6 of the shades, and they're all fantastic. I don't think I need to give much introduction to this lipstick, every autumn it's seen on every blogger everywhere, and theres a good reason! It's such a perfect deep red colour with purple undertones, it lasts so well especially with a few coats applied and blotted in between. I get quite dry lips and it doesn't cling to the dry areas even though it dries quite matte.

Swatches::

Since lipsticks can look different on lips depending upon the colour of them and especially with me removing and applying 5 colours in a row I thought I'd do a swatch on my arm too to hopefully show the true colours. 

I hope you've enjoyed my first delve into a beauty post, beauty is a love of mine that I don't get to indulge as often just because I don't often do things that require dolling up! I wish I did more and I have been known to spend a long time applying a full face of make up just for a day off trip to Sainsbury's! Doesn't matter how the experiment goes if you use self checkout! Now I'm trying to justify taking all these lipsticks away with me tomorrow so I have every option needed.